Are you getting ready for a first date with someone new? Have you had bad luck with dates or relationships in the past? One of the ways to avoid a repeat of your bad experience is to know how to identify red flags. Did you know that many red flags can show up as early as the first date? Whether you have been dating in NH for a long time, or you’re just getting started, knowing what to look out for during a first date is a great way to avoid trouble down the road.
What Are Some Red Flags in Dating?
There are a lot of different behaviors that can indicate the person you are on a date with is not someone you want to go out with again. Most of the red flag behaviors fall into four categories.
- Past behavior. If your date can’t stop bringing up their ex, talks about ghosting people, or discusses their past without taking any responsibility then they have unresolved issues that will interfere with their ability to be a good partner.
- Not respectful of others. If your date is very late with no text or call, rude to the server, or tries to push unwanted physical contact on you, then they have trouble with respect. Respect is an essential part of a successful relationship, so someone who isn’t respectful is going to have a hard time being a good partner.
- Controlling tendencies. If your date orders for you without asking, starts acting jealous on the first date, or is aggressively romantic, they could have control problems. Ordering dinner can quickly turn into choosing all your clothes and friends, so tread carefully.
- Anger problems. If your date has mood swings, teases you in a mean way, or gets angry over small mistakes, they could have trouble controlling their anger. No one wants to be in a long term relationship with someone who has anger issues.
What Should You Expect on a First Date?
When you go on a first date with someone, you should expect the other person to be as nervous as you are. You should also expect to have a good time and never made to feel uncomfortable. If you set a clear boundary for yourself to the other person, that boundary should be respected.
Getting to know the other person should be a pleasurable experience, where you feel you learn as much about them as they do about you. You shouldn’t feel like you’re being interrogated or on a date with an enigma.
How Do You Spot a Red Flag?
The best way to identify a red flag is by trusting your gut. If something about the other person doesn’t feel right on the first date, it’s highly likely that feeling is only going to get stronger on subsequent dates.
At Together NH, we provide relationship coaching services to help our clients identify red flags. We also put a lot of time and effort into matching people up, which can decrease the chance of running across red flags on a first date. If you’re dating in NH and want to see for yourself how Together NH is different from dating services, you can head over to our contact page and get started today!